Tuesday, July 14, 2009
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Monday, January 5, 2009
How I remember AJs birth.
Jan 3rd I woke up feeling different. I had some bleeding and I was pretty emotional. Suzi came over so we could walk and see if I started to contract. I did but, they were not regular. I decided to clean the house and they got pretty close. Every 2 minutes while standing and then would move back to every 5 if I rested. Ann said I should wait a little while longer and try to eat dinner. I ate some chicken and felt soo sick, I started to contract every 2-3 minutes and we decided to go to the hospital to see if we were dilating enough to be admitted. At the hospital we got right in and didn't have to wait to be seen. My sisters (Amanda and Miera) got there right when we did...I thought "hey, this is working out great!"
The contractions stayed close through all the triage nurses questions and they were getting stronger. During one strong contraction I felt two weird punches. I said "ouch! fuck!". The nurse looked shocked and I tried to tell her what was wrong when my water broke. She tried to clean me up and decided to check me. She said I was a good five. I started crying bc I knew Jenn wouldn't have time to make the birth and bc I knew I had no chance for an epidural.
I told her I labor fast after my water breaks, but I don't think she believed me. They got my IV in and everyone was standing around...within a few minutes the contractions started to be really strong and I was feeling pressure, she said I was at a 7 and they got ready to move me into a room. As they moved me out Suzi walked up and I couldn't even say hi to her. I think I just looked at her like "please save me..its gonna hurt like hell"
As they pushed me into the hall I pretty much wished I was dead. The next contraction was body racking and I felt him move down.... I felt like he was crowning. I was screaming all the way down the hall and told Rob "HES COMING NOW". They got me in the door way of my room and I was ready to push. They wouldn't let me and told me to move from the triage bed into the delivery bed. I couldn't move or think..the whole room was spinning. They were insistent on making me move and Rob tried to help when I screamed "don't fucking touch me!!!! I hate you!" . Poor Rob! Ive never said that during labor before but I wasn't about to move my ass to a differet bed w/my baby's head trying to come out so I needed to make that fact VERY clear to him. They gave up trying to move me and his head came out on the triage bed with the next contraction (actually I think a nurse guided it out). After that they told me to push and soon he was out and giving us a good loud cry.
He was born in a "compound position" which they said meant he was born w/his hand up against his head (that combined with being born so fast is why he has a bruise on his face) also bc he was born so quickly he didn't get all the fluid in his lungs pushed out. They took him for a couple hrs to the step down unit to make sure he was breathing ok.
They brought him to my room at about midnight and that's when he and I fell in love. He is the most amazing beautiful baby boy! He is very intelligent (seriously, he is) and has beautiful blonde hair. He smells like Heaven and is so super soft. He loves me and wants to be with me as much as I need to hold him. I think he looks like both Jack and Michael..and Rob and my brother lol. He fits right in. I think we will keep him lol. :)
Anyway I wanted to thank everybody for the prayers said through this whole year. Ive only had about 4 hrs of sleep in the last 2 nights but I am happier now then I ever thought possible. Maybe its bc this pregnancy (year) was so scary, or bc I am older, or bc all during the first night in the hospital all I could think of was my last hospital stay and how beautifully different this stay was...(or maybe its just bc he is so beautiful) but I think out of all my pregnancies/babies I "get it" the most with this one. I get how much God loves me and how spoiled I am. I get that I will probably never be this happy or have things be this perfect again. I get that I dont deserve this ...I get it and its almost too much to absorb. I wish everyone could feel this happy. I love you ALL and thank you again for convincing God I ...for some reason ....deserve this joy.<3